The value of Silence

I heard a wonderful piece of advice recently that came from a friend in Boston:

"You should wait to speak until you are unable to prevent yourself from speaking."

She explained it as meaning you shouldn't say the first thing that comes to mind, but listen to the conversation very carefully, engage fully in what's happening around you, and then speak when you really have something to say.

My take on it is always be aware of our motivations when speaking. Are we saying something because we genuinely want to help the other person? Are we speaking to create connection between ourselves and others? Are we speaking to gratify our own egos? Are we speaking to dominate another person? Are we using what we say to hide ourselves from others and deflect the conversation away from ourselves? Are we speaking because the souls are speaking through us and guiding our voices? All of these, and many more, are possibilities when we speak.

The sages often talk about nullification of one's ego as a part of spiritual work, and I think one of the easiest tools to that end is to listen carefully to what we say. Every word that comes our of our mouths has the potential to create or destroy relationships and worlds. Examining the words we use will let us know if we are speaking for our own benefit, or the benefit of the world and God.