The Long View

I've been starting to study Shaar HaGilgulim (The gates of reincarnation) by Hayyim Vital. I'll write more later on what I'm learning from the text itself but it's made me realize that I've started to take the long view in my life. I don't know if it's related to getting older, but things don't feel as rushed as they used to. I know that I have the rest of my life to work on my spiritual development. I can have רחמים compassion with myself if it takes awhile to happen. I know that growth takes place over many lifetimes, and all that I can see now is a small piece of a much, much larger picture. I can't stop working. I have to put as much effort into my growth as possible, but it's ok if things don't always go as planned.

One of my Hevrutas overslept a few days ago and we missed our study time. At first I was a little upset and annoyed, but then I realized that we've been studying together for two years and b"t we will be studying for another many years. If we miss this week, in the scope of things, it's not such a big deal. But only as long as we're made plans for next week and the week after.

There are so many stumbling blocks that lie in the path of our growth. It's important to know when we've hit them and how to move through them. But it's important not to let the yetzer harah, the impulse to self-destruction, use those stumbling blocks as an opportunity to beat us up and stop the growth.

The long view is a great motivator. It tells us that the problems we have in this life will be repeated in the next until we've worked them through. Or, more colloquially, same shit, different lifetime. I have no desire to go through these challenges again, so I know I have to work as hard as I can to grow so I don't subject myself to them again. At the same time, there will always be another chance to face these issues again. If I don't get it right the first time, there will be infinite second chances, which is both good and bad.

There is a Talmudic story about Honi the Circler who came upon a man planting a carob tree. Honi asked the man how long the tree would take to bear fruit? The man replied 70 years. Honi asked the man, Why do you plant a tree whose fruit you will never eat? The man said that he was planting it for the next generation, just as his father and grandfather had done for him. Honi walked away, suddenly felt very tired and lay down to sleep. He awoke to see the tree was now a giant and the same man picking the fruit. He asked the man if he was the one who had planted it? The man shook his head and replied that it was planted by his grandfather. Honi realized he had slept for 70 years.

Honi saw for himself that growth takes generations and lifetimes. Small seeds we plant now may grow into giant trees later on, though we won't, in our current incarnation, see them. We have to do the work so that we continue to grow. But we have to be patient to let things grow no matter how long they take.

Photo courtesy of Macropoulus