Akeda in the desert

There is a very interesting passage in last week's Torah portion that reads:

Shemot 4:24-26

כד וַיְהִי בַדֶּרֶךְ, בַּמָּלוֹן; וַיִּפְגְּשֵׁהוּ יְהוָה, וַיְבַקֵּשׁ הֲמִיתוֹ.	24 And it came to pass on the way at the lodging-place, that the LORD met him, and sought to kill him.
כה וַתִּקַּח צִפֹּרָה צֹר, וַתִּכְרֹת אֶת-עָרְלַת בְּנָהּ, וַתַּגַּע, לְרַגְלָיו; וַתֹּאמֶר, כִּי חֲתַן-דָּמִים אַתָּה לִי.	25 Then Zipporah took a flint, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet; and she said: 'Surely a bridegroom of blood art thou to me.'
כו וַיִּרֶף, מִמֶּנּוּ; אָז, אָמְרָה, חֲתַן דָּמִים, לַמּוּלֹת.	26 So He let him alone. Then she said: 'A bridegroom of blood in regard of the circumcision.'

The context of the story is that Moshe has just seen the burning bush and is headed off back to Eygpt to lead the people to freedom. The chronology of the chapter goes like this: Moshe encounters God in the burning bush and receives instructions on how to lead the people out of slavery and prove that he speaks for God (sign and wonders). Moshe leaves his father in law Jethro with his wife Zipporah and his two sons, then receives further instructions about what to say to Pharoah, and then we have the puzzling passage above.

At Morgenstern's last night, I meditated on the passage and Zipporah came to me and showed me her perspective on the events. I will do my best to recount what she showed me.

Moshe came to stay with Jethro and married her. He began then to study with Jethro, who was a priest and taught Moshe about how to connect to God. He could see in Moshe great potential, which was limited by his view on himself. He saw himself as never one to win arguments with his mouth. As he said to God (Shemot 4:10) "I am not a man of words... I am heavy of mouth and heavy of speech." But he was always good with his fists and was an imposing physical figure.

But when Moshe came down from the mountain one day and spoke of a burning bush, something within him had changed. It was obvious that he had had an intense spiritual experience, and he shown with an inner light. He talked it over with Jethro, who advised him to follow the vision. They packed up their two young sons and belongings and headed off for Egypt. During the journey, the presence of God came to him again, and it was there that Zipporah saw that what he was experiencing was far beyond anything she had seem in her father's house. She could feel it as it came within him and surrounded him.

But there was something else that it was asking him to do that he was refusing to do and refusing to talk about. The presence left him and it took something out of him as it went. He fell sick. They were near a town, so they stopped. She sought out the local healers, most of whom were charlatans and Zipporah knew enough to stay away from them - growing up in the house of a priest has it's benefits. She finally found one who was genuine. He came to Moses and quickly said that there was nothing he could do - it was far beyond his power.

That night, Moshe awoke from his fever and said that the lord was asking him to sacrifice his eldest son Gershom. It was then that Zipporah understood what she had to do. Moshe had refused the order of God and was sick or dying for it. Zipporah needed a ritual of such power as to appease God and sway the decree. She performed the circumcision, touched Moshe's feet with the foreskin and released Moshe from this decree.

That's more or less the story she showed me. I was impressed with what a strong woman she was. Being able to perform such a powerful ritual on her own son must have required immense courage. She had felt the power of God and knew what she was trying to influence, and she did it anyway. Perhaps there should be a book like the Red Tent about her and her perspective on the Exodus.

Akiva and the Jewish angels

R. Akiva came to me when I was studying Hagigah the other day. The tractate was about why Abuyah committed heresy and became Acher. It talked about Akiva getting to Pardes by means of the angels carrying him there, and that the angels that carried him were the angels that were assigned to Akiva. I likened this to the 27 ancestral souls that one calls in the shamanism I've learned. Akiva told me that his angels were Jewish ones, called by Jewish means. Abuyah's angels were mixed with the Greek and roman angels that fascinated him. That's why Abuyah was led astray after he returned to Pardes. Akivah was very firm that the practice had to be Jewish in order to lead one in the right direction.

I had always assumed that we all go to the same place, just by different paths. There is one god, but we all experience him differently. Akivah seemed to think differently. That we really do get to different places and if one wants to get to a Jewish God, one needs to use Jewish ways of getting there.

My mentor John said that he thinks that we do get to the same place, but the way we get there helps to determine how we experience it. Kind of like wearing different color glasses - you may be looking at the same thing, it just appears differently.

I don't know what to think, though I think the two viewpoints, from a practical point of view, aren't really very different.

A talk with Jacob

I was reading the Torah portion last week and was intrigued by the story of Dinah (Genesis 34). What puzzled me most was Jacob's silence through most of the story, only to be broken when he berates his sons for what they've done.

So I called the soul of Jacob to get some insight. I do this by reading words that Jacob said in the Torah. A few years ago, I discovered that when I read a text, I feel the presence of the soul of the author. The more spiritually powerful the author, the clearer their soul feels to me. One of the amazing things about the Tanach is that if I read the words spoken by characters in the Tanach, I feel their presence. The Torah itself, at least at this point, is transparent, that is to say, I feel the people being written about, not the author. The Talmud, on the other hand, I find very difficult to reach souls because it feels like there are too many authors, too many redactors. So I called the soul of Jacob.

He told me to understand that Dinah was still a child when she was raped. She was raped, held captive, and then the rapist thought he fell in love with her and had the gaul to ask her father to let him marry her. Jacob asked me, as a father of two young girls, to imagine what I would feel like if anything like that happened to my daughter, even in a culture where they were married much younger than today. He was silent because he was paralyzed by his rage. He knew that shechem held the power, but his rage prevented him from knowing how to respond in such a way as to avoid a war and get his daughter back. He knew that his sons were better liars than he, and they did not shy away from violence.

When they came home, they were able to find the still, cold place in their anger and lure Shechem and his father Hamor into weakening themselves so they could be overcome and Dinah could be freed. But Jacob didn't realize they would take it so far as to kill the entire city. He just wanted to kill Shechem and Hamor and get Dinah back . That was why he chastised them.