These are the things I know to be true

There are things that I believe to be true. There are things that I want to believe are true. But there are actually very few things that I have experienced and know to be true. I think only God knows the Truth with a capital "T", as we are limited by ourselves and our small perception. These are the things I know to be true:

There is a physical world and there is a spiritual world. There is that which can be seen and touched and measured, and that which we perceive but can’t see.

Far into the spiritual world is God.

All beings in this plane have a physical body and a spiritual one. The spiritual one, which is called soul, existed before the physical and continues after. There is a world of souls that exist in the spiritual realm.

There is no past or future, there is only now.

All memories connect us to patterns that happened before, some of which are carried into the now. We carry with us patterns from our physical lineage, from the family that raised us, and from our own spiritual lineage, from our soul. Life is the repetition or breaking of those patterns.

Healing is changing those patterns.

God is the ultimate way of changing the patterns. The closer to God we get, the slower the motion of the patterns become until, in the presence of God, they stop altogether and the soul becomes pure love. When the motion resumes, the patterns are changed, the healing has begun.

When a person is healed by another, they have to be willing to surrender to God.

Much of health and illness can be understood as the struggle of the soul to be aligned with physical body. There are times when the soul lifts out of the body and illness comes, and times when the soul is in alignment with the body and health abounds.

The soul and the body are always in an uneasy dynamic relationship. Sometimes they vibrate together in harmony, and sometimes they vibrate discordantly. The pre-natal patterns of the soul are sometimes in conflict with the post-natal patterns of the body and a person’s family lineage. There are times when the two work together in perfect alignment and there is health, and there are times when the soul is distant from the body and there is illness.

Each person has a power in this world. In Jewish tradition, this is the spark of God within each person. It’s the point where the soul and the body perfectly align, and God is able to flow through the person. Though one might think the body and soul would want this to happen, it seems to be the opposite. For most people, this is a difficult place to be. The soul doesn’t seem to want to be full present in the world, and the body doesn’t want to be pulled into the spiritual world. The power is generally uncomfortable for people and it takes great practice to allow it to happen.

Magic Eight balls and free will

 

Photo Courtesy of CRASH: candy

Everyone wants a magic eight ball. Ask a question, shake, then get a definitive answer as to what to do. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way.

Generally when we ask for spiritual direction, we do not get clear directions from the spirit world. I think it's part of God giving us free-will. If God spoke plainly to us, our only choice would be to do or not do. When we get vague images or half-remembered dreams, it forces us to do the work and make the best choices we can. Our role in this world is not to follow blindly, but to engage and grapple with God. The messages we get can help us along, but it's still up to us to do our work so we can interpret them correctly.

Surrendering to the Bus Buzz

Photo by sicoactiva

I was waiting at the bus stop downtown yesterday needing to get home in a hurry. There are two buses that I can take: one which runs more frequently but takes longer, and one that runs less frequently and is much quicker. Just as I got the stop, the bus that takes longer pulled in. As I often do, I "vibed" the bus. Energetically, I placed the longer bus to my right and the quicker bus to my left. I shifted my attention between them and the quicker bus buzzed, so I chose not to get on the longer bus. After about two more minutes of waiting, the quicker bus pulled up and got me home without a problem.

I've been using this technique for a long time and find it very helpful. My interpretation is that I'm doing a small check in with the flow of the world to see where I should be at the moment. It's always important for me to remember that where I should be is not always where I want to be.

There are times when my buzz has been to take the longer bus which got stuck in a bad traffic jam. As I'm sitting there grumbling to myself, I have to remember that there is some reason that I'm on this bus and not the other. Sometimes it's a reason I can see: when I get off the bus I bump into a friend who I haven't seen for awhile. Sometimes it's for a reason I can't see: so I didn't run into the friend who really isn't good for me. And sometimes, it feels like the reason is that I'm being reminded to trust my reasoning, and not place blind faith in this  energetic trick.

There are times when I feel like my life is just going with the flow of the world. The things I desire for myself seem to be in concert with my place in the world. And there are times when I'm far from the flow, nothing seems to be going smoothly or well, and I need to do something to get back with God. I know that there are certain activities the usually get me back into alignment, though I sometimes have to go through several different ones before I feel fully aligned. Everyone is different, so it's important to know for yourself what brings you back in alignment.

Being close to God involves a great deal of surrender without collapse. When one is aligned, one's desires match those of Gods, and the movement is akin to swimming with the current. But there are occasions when the messages we receive do not match up with our own conclusions, and these often make me hesitate. If I know that my energy is aligned with the world's, then I trust that the message is correct. But if my energy has been "off" then it's hard to know what to do.

This is especially true when receiving messages through others. I know people who see into the spiritual world very clearly. I always an tempted to just call them for the answer rather than trying to work it out for myself. The danger is that I am receiving a message through someone else's eyes. I don't know if they are aligned with the world when they are giving me the message, and depending on my own alignment, I can wildly misinterpret the message even if it is correct.

This is why it's important to know for yourself how you connect to God and what makes the connection more powerful. When you are connected, your impulses and the flow of the world will be the same.

One of my favorite biblical passages can be found in Ecclesiastes 7:14: When times are good be happy, but when times are bad, reflect. In this instance, one can read that as when one is connected, be happy, but when one is not, reflect and reconnect.

Dealing with Prejudice

I received an disturbing email today from a list-serve of which I am a part. The list-serve is for alternative practitioners here in Israel. The email began with a blatant fallacy: The word shaman comes from the word שמן (Shemen) which means "oil" in Hebrew and refers to the practice of anointing animals with oil. My eyes just about bugged out of my head as I read through the list of basic misconceptions about shamanism and it's interaction with Judaism. The writer's conclusion was that it's too dangerous for Jews as it can lead us astray and keep us from the "real" truth.

Aside from the mystical chauvinism, which states that Jewish mysticism is better and more powerful than any other kind, and all her other misconceptions, I was most concerned with how to approach people with her attitude. My initial reaction was to correct her facts and leave it at that, but the focus of my studies is the interaction between shamanism and Judaism so I felt compelled to answer her a bit more directly. I feel that for some religious Jews, the notion of shamanism is a bit too far out, and their fundamental beliefs won't allow room for it. But for others, they are open to it, though may have issues with the word "shamanism".

Below is my response. If there is anyone out there who has more experience dealing with people like this and has pointers on how to respond to them, what presses their buttons (and how to avoid doing that), and how to get them to acknowledge that what I am searching for is a part of Jewish tradition, I would love to hear your feedback.

The etymology of the word Shaman is somewhat in dispute. It originally referred to the traditional healers of Turkic-Mongol areas such as Northern Asia (Siberia) and Mongolia; šamán being the Turkic-Tungus word for such a practitioner and meaning "he or she who knows." (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamanism - you can see the academic citations in the footnotes). In the course of the 60's & 70's, and particularly by Mircea Eliade's book Shamanism, it became popularized in the west.

More recently Shamanism has come to refer to many different methods of healing that make use of, and are in contact with, the spirit world (usually connected to Briyah, the second world where the angel's reside). There are some forms of shamanism which pay varying importance to animal totems or spirit guides, but they are only several among a vast array, and are usually a less important part of the practice. Practical Kabbalah would be included in this definition of shamanism.

At the root of all shamanic traditions is that the shaman connect themselves to God, by whatever name they use, and heal by means of that connection and according to God's will. This connection is the heart of all shamanic healing. Every culture has created it's own set of rituals to create and strengthen that connection. Some of which may be connected to avodah zarah. But many of which just open the veil, and then try to describe what is seen/experienced there.

Within our own tradition there are many, many example of people entering a shamanic trance and communicating with tzaddikim and angels. Lurianic kabbalism is full of techniques for entering the spiritual world and making changes there. On a recent trip to tzafat, I saw people lying down on the graves of tzaddikim to absorb their energy. I believe it was Yoseph Karo who read mishniot until he entered into a trance state at which point his maggid would descend upon him and speak through his mouth. More recent kabbalists speak of ascending into the heavenly court to annul heavenly decrees. It is in these paths, and many more, that one may explore the shamanic in Judaism.

One thing I didn't add was that I feel that cultural background influences how one experiences the spiritual world. A Catholic is going to interpret souls as saints and a Jew as Tzaddikim, but my sense is that they are dealing with the same thing. The prohibition against avodah zarah, idol worship, is very important in Judaism, so my thinking is that a Jew should probably search out the shamanic through Jewish means. That's one of the big reasons I'm searching for Jewish ways to open up and connect to the spirit world. But I also think that experiences that people have had elsewhere can help to enlighten their Jewish experiences. It's also always bothered me that people go searching elsewhere for things that exist in Judaism because they are viewed as inaccessible or non-existent. The Shamanic has always been present in Judaism, though not always completely visible.

Throwing away the shells

I met with a teacher of mine tonight to talk about dealing with rabbis who have personal problems. There have been several very highly publicized cases in recent years of rabbis who have sexually molested students. It had come up several times recently in conversation, and I asked to meet with this particular teacher because he had known two of the rabbis.

We talked over the issues for awhile as I was trying to grasp how such a thing could have been tolerated in the Jewish community. He, who is older than I, reminded me that women's rights were not respected very well in the past, and it is only recently that things have begun to change for the better. These rabbis had grown up in worlds where such behavior was not openly discussed and though it was viewed as wrong, there wasn't much pressure not to do it. I want to point out to that my teacher never said any of this to justify the actions, just to understand them a bit better.

When I asked the question of how to deal with teachings of these rabbis, some of which are really very special, when we know that the person who taught them is deeply flawed? He responded by quoting from Talmud. There was a Talmudic persona called "Acher" (other) who was very well respected and then excommunicated (for unclear reasons - click here for an earlier post about it). People asked one of Acher's main disciples how he related to his teacher after he was declared a heretic, and his response was that he ate the sweetness inside, but threw away the shell. My teacher said that's how it is with these rabbis today, keep the sweetness of their teachings, but don't learn the lessons they taught by living badly. He also pointed out that doesn't mean deny what happened or minimize it in any way, but learn the lessons of what not to do from them as well.

I thought all of this very wise and wanted to pass it along.

More thoughts on Wheat and bakers - Zohar 176/a-b

I've been thinking about what I wrote and realizing that "one who comes in and goes out" probably refers to one who can enter and exit the spirit world. One of the traditional roles of a shaman is to enter the spiritual world for information. While they are there, they gain an understanding of the essence of a person or thing, and then bring that understanding back to the physical world for the purpose of healing. But often, when they are back, the shaman then needs to do some counseling or other type of healing to help the person make proper use of the information.

One reason I don't like week-end shaman seminars is that a person gains understanding and then has no structure for using that to implement change in their lives. Change seems to take place slowly over long periods of time, and as such, a weekend can be beneficial as part of longer term work, but there needs to be a recognition of the needed follow-up.

So it is with the person who enters and exits, they need to be able to live in this world and be able to travel in the spiritual world. Without either, they are limited. So this frames the work a person needs to do if they are on the shaman's path: they need to be work on easily traveling back and forth into and out of the spiritual world. They need to understand wheat, but also how to bake bread because if you understand wheat, you can make some really good bread. but if all you understand is wheat, you don't even try to cook.

I think one of the traps I fall into is dismissing people who are good bakers because they don't get the wheat. I tend to say that people are not worth learning from because they don't understand the spiritual aspects of what they do, but they may be very good at what they do nevertheless. It's then up to me to learn as much as I can from them and then add the spiritual component to make it more meaningful to me. And also to know when people are good at wheat, but not so good in this world.

Zohar 176/a-b - Those who come in and out

I started my new Beit-Midrash today and it gave me several things to think about.

We studied a section from the Zohar, page 176/a-b, parshat Terumah. It's the introduction to Sifra D'Tzniutah, which roughly translates to the Book of Modesty. It reads in my very poor translation:

Who is the one who modest of the book [What is modesty of the book]? R' Shimon said, they are five parts that include the palaces of all, and and fill all of the land. R' Yehudah asked, if they include everything, they are more preferable then all. R' Shimon said thus it is for those who goes in and comes out, but for those who don't come in and go out, it is not thus.

It is told of a man who lived in the mountains and didn't know of the city, he grew wheat and ate the wheat by itself. One day, he came into a city and they gave him good bread. The man said to them, why? They said, bread is for eating. So he ate it and it was very tasty. He asked, from what do you make this? From wheat, they answered. Later, they gave him challahs that were dipped in oil. He tasted them and said from what are these made. From wheat, they said. Later they gave him sweet mixtures kneaded with honey and oil. He said, from what are these made. From wheat, they said. He said, it's certain that I am master of all of these as I eat the essence of all of these, which is wheat.

According to this way of thinking, the refinements [manifestations] of the world are not known, and they are lost. Thus it is for whoever grasps the basic rule but doesn't know all of the useful refinements that come out from the same basic rule.

The five parts are the Torah, which then fills up the world. R' Yehudah suggests then that we just study Torah and nothing else as in it is contained everything. R' Shimon replies that if you are "one who goes in and comes out" then you can do this, otherwise best to study everything. Who is "one who comes in and goes out"?

We then hear a story about a hermit who lives on wheat alone. When he comes into the city and tries all the yummy baked goods that can be made of wheat, he declares himself the master of all these things because he grows and eats wheat. He understands wheat, the basic ingredient in all these things, so he believes that he is master of all things made of wheat. The text then points out to us, if we haven't already gotten there ourselves, that this person is a fool, and anyone who thinks they can be master of a thing just by understanding the basic rules of a thing has really missed the point.

My interpretation of "one who comes in and goes out" is a person who lives in this world. We can study Torah to understand the world, but it's only useful if we are actually participating in the world and seeing how it is made manifest in the world. If we live in seclusion, then all the study is wasted, as we're really missing the point. If a person has trouble being in this world, and is spending all their time in the spiritual world, then studying the deep matters (basic principles of the world) is a problem as they lose sight of the beauty of the physical world.

There are some people have an easier time being in the physical world and need to work to be in the spiritual one, and there are others who are exactly the opposite. Those people have difficulty getting their feet on the ground and staying present in this world. I believe this story is teaching us that if you can be in this world, then it's ok to learn to travel in the spiritual world, but if you have trouble being here, then spend your time learning to enjoy this world. For one who can go into the spiritual world and come back into the physical world, they can extract from the basic principles to all the possibilities. But for someone who is stuck in the spiritual world, they need to concentrate on learning the manifestations in the physical world.

The last question I want to address is actually the first of the text: Who is one who has modesty of the book? If the book is everything in the world, and the book is the essence of all in the world, then modesty of the book would mean that any who understand the deeper workings of the world should be modest about it. If our story man was our bad example, then we learn that even if we understand a deep principle, we don't proclaim ourselves master over it or any of it's refinements, we remain modest and humble, and know that to truly master a thing, we have to understand the basics and all of the possibilities that can come from it.

Not in Heaven

Deuteronomy 30:11-14

יא כִּי הַמִּצְוָה הַזֹּאת, אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם--לֹא-נִפְלֵאת הִוא מִמְּךָ, וְלֹא רְחֹקָה הִוא.	11 For this commandment which I command thee this day, it is not too hard for thee, neither is it far off.
יב לֹא בַשָּׁמַיִם, הִוא: לֵאמֹר, מִי יַעֲלֶה-לָּנוּ הַשָּׁמַיְמָה וְיִקָּחֶהָ לָּנוּ, וְיַשְׁמִעֵנוּ אֹתָהּ, וְנַעֲשֶׂנָּה.	12 It is not in heaven, that thou shouldest say: 'Who shall go up for us to heaven, and bring it unto us, and make us to hear it, that we may do it?'
יג וְלֹא-מֵעֵבֶר לַיָּם, הִוא: לֵאמֹר, מִי יַעֲבָר-לָנוּ אֶל-עֵבֶר הַיָּם וְיִקָּחֶהָ לָּנוּ, וְיַשְׁמִעֵנוּ אֹתָהּ, וְנַעֲשֶׂנָּה.	13 Neither is it beyond the sea, that thou shouldest say: 'Who shall go over the sea for us, and bring it unto us, and make us to hear it, that we may do it?'
יד כִּי-קָרוֹב אֵלֶיךָ הַדָּבָר, מְאֹד: בְּפִיךָ וּבִלְבָבְךָ, לַעֲשֹׂתוֹ. {ס}	14 But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it.

When I read these passages from last week's torah portion, I was struck by the difficulty in reading them. One simple reading is that we are able to do all of God's commandments, that they require no extraordinary effort, no supernatural intervention to fulfill, but each and every one of us is able to fulfill them. The other part of this reading is that we each need to do it and not wait for anyone else to do it for us. We should not wait for someone else to go to Heaven to fulfill the commandments, but we should be able to do it ourselves, that is, that it is doable by all of us.

That is the crux of the difficulty I had with the passage, does it mean that all of us should be able to go up to heaven ourselves? Are we all mystics to ascend and receive our commandments from God ourselves? Or does it mean that we don't need to ascend at all, that everything is right here already? And, in a very Jewish way, the thing we are supposed to receive when we ascend are words that we can hear. Or another possible reading is that we are not commanded to do anything that is out of our reach - each of us does according to their ability, though determining that would be a difficult task.

My sense is that the traditional view is that everything is already given to us, and all the commandments are already written down, so there is no need to go to heaven to get anything else. My desire is that it means Judaism is very flat, that there is no hierarchy, and everyone can fulfill all of the commandments. But that's not really Judaism. In the temple days, the Cohanim did the sacrifices and entered the holy of holies and clearly were elevated above the rest of the people. Since then, we've elevated the rabbi's above the rest, though in an interesting way. The rabbis earned their rank by their learning: the more knowledgeable and learned they were, the higher they were regarded.

In the Hasidic world, the rabbi was also a tzaddik who went to higher levels than others, and was venerated for it. In Morgenstern's latest pamplet he says that people should try to be near a tzaddik during Rosh Hashanna because the tzaddik is at a higher level and will help lift them up during the high holy days. One problem is that a tzaddik is not always created by his learning and intellectual ability. Spiritual ability and academic knowledge are not the same thing. Working on my view that the spiritual activities of Judaism include study, it makes sense that someone can be very learned which leads to great spiritual ability, but it doesn't always follow. Which then poses the question of how to know a tzaddik when one sees one?

Getting back to the text, another possible reading is that we each have gifts which allow us to connect with God. So when the baker bakes, if that is his gift, he connects to God while baking. Likewise, if the doctor's gift is healing, then she is connecting to God when she is working with patients. But the text talks about specific people who are able to connect with God and words emerge that we can hear and base our actions on them. This is a very specialized gift: the ability to sail into the spiritual world and return with words which enable us to do God's will.

At one point, while working on patients, I would see scenes from movies. I assumed for awhile that I was just day-dreaming during a treatment and didn't put much stock in them. After awhile though, I began to realize that the scenes were connected to my patients and what was going on with them. I realized that I was watching a lot of movies at that point in my life, and the stories that I was hearing were how I was interfacing with the spiritual world - they were the clothes the spiritual visions took. As I study more Judaism, I'm finding that my insights are coming more and more in the form of Jewish texts and metaphors.

People who spend all day, every day studying must receive their insight in the form of words. When Morgenstern goes into his trance state at the Tish, he speaks and brings insight from the spiritual world. In this way, text study defines the spiritual experience that Jews have. A problem is that people's gifts are so varied and widespread that only a small percentage of people will have the gift to experience the spiritual world through words. Religious Judaism, in the past, had a lot more flexibility regarding this as it put value on people's working lives, so that the baker who find God in bread can bake. But these days, in Jerusalem, the value in only on education. There are scores of people who spend their lives in Yeshiva, and the value is that anyone who can do that, should. For those who's gift is words, that's great, though for others, it's very limiting.

All of which brings us back to the original text. To me, the more important part tells us that we should not ask someone else to go to heaven for us, we should go there ourselves. If our path to God is through words, then we need to study and pray with words so those shape our spiritual experience. Then we will find the words on our mouths and in our hearts. We need not rely on anyone else to do it for us, as it's all inside of us.

a line of light

Tonight I went to Morgenstern's and had a very interesting and intense experience. I have started to take a class with him on Wednesday nights on Hayyim Vital's Otzarot Hayyim. I've only gone to two classes so far, but it's very interesting. The class is supposed to be in English, but I think only 50% or less in actually in English. The rest is in either Yiddish or Heavily Yiddish accented Hebrew. Many of the words he uses have multiple meanings, or they are used to refer to concepts (which I only sometimes know) so it's been very challenging to follow what he's saying.

I've been studying the book on my own before class and reading all the commentaries in the edition I own, so I think I'm keeping up! Fortunately, I live in the 21st century and all the classes are digitally recorded as MP3's. In the next week or so, the classes will be posted on a website and I can listen to them again to make sure I'm understanding what he's saying.

The first lines of the book (we've only covered two or three paragraphs so far) is about the creation of the world. God, who is called אור אין סוף (ohr ayn-sof) or light without end, created the world by a process of contraction. In the middle of the light, God contracted himself and created a ball of חלול (meaning both hollow space and desecration against God). Into this ball, God inserted a קו (straight line of light) or צינור (pipe) and filled the ball with his light. Thus all of the worlds were created.

The rebbe interpreted this to mean that outside of the ball, there are no borders, but within the ball there are. There is a division between inside and outside that is still a border, and the pipe is also a border, but within the pipe, it's still light ayn-sof. If there were no borders, the world would return to pre-contraction state. But this pipe remains open so God can send his light into the world. How an infinite light can exist in a finite pipe is a good Koan.

When I first read the book, I wrote in the margins: This is just like a shamanic tunnel. Shamans always talk about going through a tunnel to get to the spirit world, and we have a tunnel that lead to God. Thus, if one can access this pipe, one can use it as a shamanic portal into the spirit world.

Tonight, at the Rebbe's Tish, I was flowing with the energy of the room and as he began to talk, I found myself wondering about this pipe. And, as happens with these things, the picture of the pipe in the book came to me. As I focused on the pipe within the circle, there it was in front of me. I went towards it, and as I looked up it's length, it twisted and turned. I kept moving forward through the wall of the pipe and was inside it. It was like nothing I've felt before. I felt like I was completely immersed in a heavy liquid, but felt no pressure anywhere. When I looked up, I could see the pipe going straight above me to Ayn-Sof. And then there was no up or down anymore.

The light in the pipe was moving, but it felt very random until I realized that I no longer had any sense of directionality. There was no up or down or left or right. Everything was exactly the same in all directions. Except that I knew that if I backed up, I would be back through the wall. There wasn't anything except the substance surrounding me.

Morgenstern had talked about using the line to go up through the worlds and for God to emanate light into our world, but inside the line, there was no movement in any particular direction. I backed out of it and found handles on the outside of the pipe. I grabbed hold of them and before I knew it, I was flying upward through the worlds. When it stopped moving, I don't know where I was, but it felt pretty high and far from where I'd started.

I have always wanted to know what the sephirot feel like, and when I asked at this point to feel them or feel the worlds, I was told to wait, one thing at a time.

I used my time at this high point, to check in with some old and current patients and see how they felt from this vantage. One of them in particular felt very rough and, as I'm writing this entry, I received an email from her with some bad news.

We'll see what the coming weeks bring, but it's amazing to read something and get an intellectual understanding of it and then get an experiential feel as well!