Cain wasn't Abel

Photo from Okinawa Soba

I've recently started studying with a new Hevruta who also has a shamanic background and is a cohen. We've decided to try to explore the practice of sacrifice in Judaism and to see if we can apply what we learn to our practices. We're beginning with the story of Cain and Hevel (Abel), who gave the first offerings to God. The story can be found in Genesis 4:1-16.

The names are very significant: Cain, קין, means acquired, and Hevel, הבל, means vapor or breath. Cain is the farmer, the worker of the land, which is cursed at this point, and Hevel is a shepherd. These facts set up the dichotomy between the two: Cain is a person who must always be busy tending to his fields and to his crops. The life of the shepherd is very different. It's mostly a quiet, meditative life. Cain is very tied to the physicality of the land, while Hevel is able to concentrate on more spiritual pursuits.

In my paradigm, Cain's gift is doing: working and producing. He is most connected to God when he is farming. Hevel's gift is being: meditation and quiet observation of the world. He is most connected to God during "spiritual" times and rituals.

Interestingly, it is Cain who first makes the offering of first fruits to God, and only then does Hevel follow. The word for offering is מנחה (minchah) which derives from לנוח (to rest), and in this form, can mean "to cause to rest".  The purpose of the sacrifice was to cause Cain to be able to rest from his work. My understanding of this is based on my experience when I connect to the souls. I feel very peaceful and relaxed, even to the point where I forget my words or my questions (if I had any). Perhaps Cain was seeking a similar experience.

But God accepts Hevel's sacrifice and Hevel himself, but not to Cain or his sacrifice. The word for accept is וישא, which means to Gaze (steadily with interest) or to turn towards and pay heed. Hevel sacrifices and connects to God. Cain sacrifices and neither he nor his sacrifice connect to God.

In our reading, this makes perfect sense. Hevel connects to God through ritual and through spiritual means. Cain connects through working and producing. When Cain sacrifices, he is trying to connect to God through Hevel's gift, which, of course, doesn't work for him.

It's noteworthy that Cain figured out a good way for Hevel to connect. It's a reminder not to spend all our time with people who have similar gifts to ourselves. Often, the outside perspective enables another to see how we can use our gifts more effectively. It's also important to live in community so that when we are faced with a task that is outside of our power, we have others who can do it for us. Cain's response might have been to ask Hevel to do the sacrifices for him. In turn, Hevel would be probably be unable to do tasks that would require him to be fully in the physical world and would need Cain to do them for him.

And here is where Cain goes astray. He gets angry and disappointed that God wouldn't gaze upon him when he sacrificed, and God chastises him for it. God tells him that "if he does right, there is uplift" (literally exalted and majesty). Doing right, in my reading, is doing and living according to his gift. But God continues, "if you do not do right, Sin crouches at the door". Any time that we try to live according to someone else's gift, we run into trouble.

Cain then kills Hevel. God asks Cain "where is your brother Hevel?", and we get the famous reply "Am I my brother's keeper?" God replies that "Your brother's blood cries out to my from the ground (אדמה)." The ground was Cain's source of power. He was a farmer who derived his power, and connected to God, through working the land. But the murder of his brother poisoned Cain's power so that he would never be able to access it again.

God's punishment to Cain was twofold: destroying Cain's connection with his power and cursing him to Hevel's power which would never really work for him. God tells Cain directly that if "you till the soil, it shall no longer yield it's strength to you." He then curses Cain has to wander the land, which is what a shepherd does, not what a farmer does.

Cain replies "My punishment is to great to bear. Since you have banished me this day from the soil and your presence will be hidden from me..." Cain is aware that he can no longer connect to God as he has been separated from his gift. Cain continues "...anyone who meets me may kill me." God then puts a mark on Cain's forehead as protection.

Why does Cain need protection only at this point? My approach to spiritual protection has always been awareness, love, dealing with fear, and staying within your power. It's a much longer discussion, but my view is that when Cain was no longer in his power, he was vulnerable. Hevel had no trouble wandering the land and living. Cain is unable to do that.

There are some people who naturally avoid fights, and some people who can't seem to go anywhere without having someone start a fight with them. Hevel might have been a person who did not naturally get into fights or quarrels, but Cain, being more in the world, might have. Now Cain is wandering the world with Hevel's power but people are still fighting with him, and he now has no defenses so he needs God's protection.

This story sets up one of the basic polarities in Human existence: those who are more in the physical world and those who are more in the spiritual world. Each has a unique gift that enables them to connect to God and only run into trouble when they try to be someone who they are not.

The soul's balloon

Occasionally when I treat people, it feels as if their soul is empty. When I reach out to connect to them spiritually, I can't feel anything. It almost feels like I'm seeing a shadow of the person: they are physically there, but spiritually it feels like there's nothing there.

I used to think that their soul had left their body for some reason. but it was rightly pointed out to me recently that if their soul wasn't present in their body, they'd be dead.

One possible explanation could be based on the Jewish idea of their being five levels to the soul. The lower soul could be present, but the upper could be missing. But my perception is not of a cup half full, but of the cup being completely empty.

In Hevruta today I came to an explanation that feels more accurate. The soul is like a balloon. There are times when it is empty and times when it is full. When it's empty, it may be barely visible and offers no resistance to our touch, but when it's full, it's clearly visible and touchable. So what fills it? The breath of God. When God created Adam, he animated him by breathing life into him.

So my experience is that the client's soul is empty, and after the treatment, if it's been a good treatment, then their soul is full of God's breath (רוח הקודש). Illness in this way of thinking is caused by an empty soul, and health by a full one.

I'm curious to hear from my readers: Does this match your experience? Does this explanation help you to heal better?

Standing in Fear

Photo courtesy of Krembo1

The Amidah is a very powerful prayer. As I've written about before, it has become a way for me to check in with my fear every day.

The Amidah begins with three prayers of invocation or supplication where we call the souls of our ancestors. The first is a direct calling of our fore-fathers and fore-mothers (if you choose to do it that way, which I recommend). The next is the prayer for the reviving the dead, which calls in all of our ancestral souls, and the last is a the prayer of holiness to proclaim that we are now in a holy space.

The Amidah continues with what is traditionally called the Bakashot, or requests. I slightly alter my perspective on this section my fears. Each of these requests represents or stems from a fear within each Jew that we wish assuaged. For me, these become reminders of the fears within me that I need to visit everyday. As I read through the Amidah, I pause after each blessing and touch the fear before continuing on to the next.

Some days, certain fears will hold a lot of power and certain fears will feel neutral. I especially look for fears which feel numb to me - these are the ones I need to spend the most time with until I can feel what's going on underneath.

The last section of the Amidah is for thanking God. In this section, I surround myself with love and send it to any lingering fears. This section begins with the avodah, or service, which implores God to accept our prayers instead of a sacrifice. I suspect that this allows us to call some of the spiritual power of a the sacrifices into the power of our prayers, but this will require further meditation.

I suggest the everyone study the prayers themselves and come up with their own understanding of the fear reminders. Each of the prayers speak to every one of us in a different way, so it's important to find yours. What follows is my understanding of them at this point in time

• Binah - Fear of not being smart or clever enough.
• Tsuvah -Fear that I've succomb to my yetzer haRah, my urge to self-destruction.
  
• Slicha - Fear of having done something unforgivable
• Geulah - Fear that things will never get better both personally, nationally, and environmentally
• Refuah - Fear that I'll be sick
• Birkat Hashanim - Fear that I'll be poor and unable to pay the bills or buy food.
• Kibbutz Galuyot - Fear that I won't have a home and I will wander and never feel at home.
• Din - Fear that there will be no justice in the world or in my life
• Birkat Haminim - Fear of betrayal
• Tzaddikim - Fear that the wise in my life will be removed. And that the wise among our nation will be taken from us.
• Binyan Jerusalem - The cossack fear that Jerusalem will again be taken from us as a result of our own actions.
• Malcut Beit David - This is unclear to me. Probably a fear that we will never be worthy of bringing the messiah.
  
• Kabbalat Tefillah -Fear that we can't connect to God. Fear is one of the main blocks that prevents a person from connecting to God, so this sums up the others fears.
  

Amidah - Blessing for the year

Following up to my thoughts on using the Amidah as a tool to feel fear. Tonight, the fear came up during the prayer for a good year. The fear I had was one of poverty. It gave me an opportunity to focus on the fears I have for my business and if I was going to earn enough to support my family. My fear during this prayer was all about livelihood. I'd be interested what other people feel during this part of the Amidah. Let me know.

Hands are more important than heads

I recently learned a teaching from the Beit Yaakov:

Why do our arms reach higher than our heads?

Because the effects of our actions have far more ramifications than our thoughts. What we do in the world is much more important than what we think. When we work on personal growth or shamanic development, we have to pay the most attention to what we are actually doing. What we do with our hands matters more than what we do with our head.

Shaking in the shefa

This is the Lurianic technique I learned for shaking the four species:

A quick note: the four species represent the name of God. The הדסה (myrtle) is the yod, The ארבות (willow) is the first hay, The לולב (palm) is the vav, and the אתרוג (Etrog) is the second hay.

Recite the blessing for shaking the four species with the lulav in the right hand and the etrog (held upside down with the stem facing downward) in the left. The two should not be touching. The blessing is Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam asher kidshanu b'mitvotav vetzivanu al nitilat lulav.

Turn the etrog over and then hold them together.

Do each movement three times:

Hold the four species out to your right and shake three times drawing the shefa of Hesed חסד. Pull the hesed into yourself and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species to your left and shake three times drawing the shefa of Gevurah גבורה. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species in front of you and shake three times drawing the shefa of Tiferet תפארת. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species upwards and shake three times drawing the shefa of Nesach נצח. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species downwards and shake three times drawing the shefa of Hod הוד. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species behind you (either over your shoulder or turn around) and shake three times drawing the shefa of yesod יסוד. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

The Principle of the 1000th.

Photo courtesy of Rahel Sharon

My friend Mike Short, who is an excellent acupuncturist and herbalist, is also a serious martial artist. I asked him once how he got so good at herbs and his response was that he treated it like martial arts: you learn a technique and then practice it a 1000 times. After the 1000th time, you realize how it works and what you've been doing wrong so far. So you do it another 1000 times. At this point, you see how you can begin to make it your own and begin to notice the subtleties of the technique. So you do it another 1000 times and you actually understand it. And then you can learn another technique. He approached herbs in the same way and it made him an amazing herbalist.

When I mentioned this story to my mentor John, his reaction was that in Shamanic work, after the 1000th time, you really don't need another technique. If you pick one technique that is meaningful to you and do it for years, then you won't need another. It will take you where ever you need to go.

I was reminded of this rule this morning while studying in a friend's sukkah. He asked me if had done the four species. I replied that I hadn't.

There are certain things that make sense to us in the abstract, but because we didn't grow up with them, they seem weird. I didn't grow up shaking a Lulav and Etrog, so it's always felt weird to me and I don't do it.

He reminisced that the first time he had worn his kippah outside of yeshiva, he felt very strange: as if everyone was going to stare at him all the time. He quickly realized that here in Jerusalem, no one really noticed. And shortly after, it felt more natural to wear a kippah than to not. He had his own weird factor to get over.

He then pulled out his lulav and etrog and taught me a very powerful Lurianic kavannah (intention) to do while shaking them. For the first time in my life, I felt power in the ritual. The Holiday is over tomorrow, so I don't think I'll have much time to do more shaking, but next year I'll buy the four species and do some shaking. Maybe after the 1000 time, I'll begin to understand the ritual.