Amidah - Blessing for the year

Following up to my thoughts on using the Amidah as a tool to feel fear. Tonight, the fear came up during the prayer for a good year. The fear I had was one of poverty. It gave me an opportunity to focus on the fears I have for my business and if I was going to earn enough to support my family. My fear during this prayer was all about livelihood. I'd be interested what other people feel during this part of the Amidah. Let me know.

Hands are more important than heads

I recently learned a teaching from the Beit Yaakov:

Why do our arms reach higher than our heads?

Because the effects of our actions have far more ramifications than our thoughts. What we do in the world is much more important than what we think. When we work on personal growth or shamanic development, we have to pay the most attention to what we are actually doing. What we do with our hands matters more than what we do with our head.

Shaking in the shefa

This is the Lurianic technique I learned for shaking the four species:

A quick note: the four species represent the name of God. The הדסה (myrtle) is the yod, The ארבות (willow) is the first hay, The לולב (palm) is the vav, and the אתרוג (Etrog) is the second hay.

Recite the blessing for shaking the four species with the lulav in the right hand and the etrog (held upside down with the stem facing downward) in the left. The two should not be touching. The blessing is Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam asher kidshanu b'mitvotav vetzivanu al nitilat lulav.

Turn the etrog over and then hold them together.

Do each movement three times:

Hold the four species out to your right and shake three times drawing the shefa of Hesed חסד. Pull the hesed into yourself and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species to your left and shake three times drawing the shefa of Gevurah גבורה. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species in front of you and shake three times drawing the shefa of Tiferet תפארת. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species upwards and shake three times drawing the shefa of Nesach נצח. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species downwards and shake three times drawing the shefa of Hod הוד. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

Hold the four species behind you (either over your shoulder or turn around) and shake three times drawing the shefa of yesod יסוד. Pull it into your heart and shake three times near your heart.

The Principle of the 1000th.

Photo courtesy of Rahel Sharon

My friend Mike Short, who is an excellent acupuncturist and herbalist, is also a serious martial artist. I asked him once how he got so good at herbs and his response was that he treated it like martial arts: you learn a technique and then practice it a 1000 times. After the 1000th time, you realize how it works and what you've been doing wrong so far. So you do it another 1000 times. At this point, you see how you can begin to make it your own and begin to notice the subtleties of the technique. So you do it another 1000 times and you actually understand it. And then you can learn another technique. He approached herbs in the same way and it made him an amazing herbalist.

When I mentioned this story to my mentor John, his reaction was that in Shamanic work, after the 1000th time, you really don't need another technique. If you pick one technique that is meaningful to you and do it for years, then you won't need another. It will take you where ever you need to go.

I was reminded of this rule this morning while studying in a friend's sukkah. He asked me if had done the four species. I replied that I hadn't.

There are certain things that make sense to us in the abstract, but because we didn't grow up with them, they seem weird. I didn't grow up shaking a Lulav and Etrog, so it's always felt weird to me and I don't do it.

He reminisced that the first time he had worn his kippah outside of yeshiva, he felt very strange: as if everyone was going to stare at him all the time. He quickly realized that here in Jerusalem, no one really noticed. And shortly after, it felt more natural to wear a kippah than to not. He had his own weird factor to get over.

He then pulled out his lulav and etrog and taught me a very powerful Lurianic kavannah (intention) to do while shaking them. For the first time in my life, I felt power in the ritual. The Holiday is over tomorrow, so I don't think I'll have much time to do more shaking, but next year I'll buy the four species and do some shaking. Maybe after the 1000 time, I'll begin to understand the ritual.

Amidah as reminders

It always surprises me that there is no mention of fear in the Amidah. From a shamanic point of view, it's essential to check in with your fear everyday and be aware of it at all times. In Judaism, fear of God is the first step towards wisdom and is important for a number of reasons. I discussed one aspect of it in a prior post.

Tonight, while I was davening, I got to the prayer for healing and the fear overwhelmed me. I paused, felt it thoroughly, and then sent it love. Then I continued onward with the prayer. I am a healer, and I periodically go through fears related to healing (which is happening now), so it made perfect sense to feel the fear at the point.

Each of the 18 blessings links to a different things. The first three are praise, the next 12 are requests, and the last three are thanks. Perhaps we can use the middle blessings as reminders of where to check for our fear. Or to use them as reminders to check for how we are feeling on the different aspects of ourselves. It's worth studying in more depth.

Energy centers

Over the past few years, I've gradually become aware of three major energy centers in the body: my forehead, my heart, and my lower abdomen (hara). Interestingly, each of these is considered the center in different traditions. In Jewish mysticism, the forehead is very important as one's inner light shines from there. There is a long tradition of reading letters and words on a person's forehead. As a persons spirit becomes stronger and more pure, the letters become clearer. The heart is a center of power for the shamanic tradition I've studied, and is the source for bringing love and healing into the world. The lower abdomen is called the Hara is Chinese medicine and is the center of power in the martial arts world.

Each is a different way of connected to my patients. When a patient first comes in and I begin to connect with them, I try to be aware of how I'm connecting to them. I'm always surprised that how I'm connecting is not what I expect. I expect an intellectual person will connect through the forehead, but then I find a heart connection with them. Even now, I feel the urge to define each connection and what it is used for, but the truth is that they are just three ways of doing the same things.

I see the primary roles of the shaman as threefold: gaining sight or knowledge, creating the space for healing, and action. All of these are directed towards healing and unifying with God. And all three energy centers can do all three tasks. Sometimes the heart connection is what's needed to move through a blockage, sometimes the forehead.

Jewish study and prayer often concentrate energy in my forehead, which makes me think too much. It takes an act of will while praying to bring the energy down. I often wonder if Jewish spiritual techniques make us tend towards overthinking, or if our value on education led to the most intellectual people developing the spiritual techniques, but either way, we are definitely encouraged and trained to think.

My general tendency, by nature or by being raised in an academic intellectual household, is to overthink. I've found that I often need to draw in the energy at my forehead. It feels like putting a metal plate over my forehead to keep the energy in. At that point, my heart radiates and gets stronger. I think much of my power lies in my heart, but the overthinking saps it and drains the power off. When I close my forehead, the energy can accumulate in my heart.

All shaman are different and it's important to know where your power lies. I'm curious what other people perceive as their energy centers and how they use that in healing. Let me know what you think.

Why we're not angels

In Sanhedrin 42:1, it states:

אשר במאמרו ברא שחקים וברוח פיו כל צבאם חוק וזמן נתן להם שלא ישנו את תפקידם

In your speech, you created the heavens, and with the breath of your mouth, all the [heavenly] hosts. Rule and time you gave them so they will not change their role.

In Jewish thought, Angels have no free will. They are created with a certain role and are unable to change it, always fulfilling their assigned task. Humans, on the other hand, have free will, so we are able to change our roles and actions to, hopefully, improve ourselves. It's an important distinction. The goal of many shamanic traditions is to align oneself with the will of God so that one surrenders and one's actions become in perfect harmony with the universe. The difference is that we choose to do it, and Angels have no ability to do otherwise. It also gives us an adaptability to the ever changing world.

A central Kabbalistic tenet is that the world is in a state of continual creation. Our words and actions continually create and change the world, which makes our adaptability a much needed skill. As Heraclitus wrote in the fifth century BCE: No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he is not the same man. Even the things that we've done time and again are different each time we do them because we are different, and each interaction we have with another person is different, no matter how close we are or how frequently we see them, because we and they are different.

Studying last night, I applied these ideas to the concept of choseness. Jews consider themselves to be the chosen people, but in light of continual creation and constant change, that means that Jews are constantly being chosen. And as such, we are constantly being examined by God to see if we are worthy of the choice. It's not enough to rely on received wisdom and traditional practices (though we can learn a tremendous amount from them), but each Jew must strive to make the right choices to live a Just life so that we are worthy of being chosen. The world is constantly changing and we need to react to it with wisdom so that we can remain chosen.

Traditional wisdom teaches that we are stuck with the designation and will always remain the chosen people, but I can't imagine that is true. When someone gives you an honor and holds you up as an example of righteousness, it's not a license to do immoral things or to be discriminatory or to try to kill someone over a parking lot. Instead, it's a motivation to be more righteous and more just, to show that we are worthy of the designation. We're not angels, we are not created in only one way. We are continually creating the world, and so we must strive to make it the best world we can.